Man United's Manager...

Alex Ferguson:

Slur Alex whisky-nosed 'orrible old sour-faced cunt Taggart Altime greatest diving scout(born 31 December 1341 in Parkhead, Glasgow) is a Scottish diving manager who spends most of his time using his vast wealth, sorry, 'tactical acumen' (of which a dormouse with a prefrontal labotomy possesses more than "Old squeaky bum") to make Manchester United the biggest bunch of whingeing, cheating twats in the history of the universe. Although only became a household name when he wed Falkirk based East Stirwingshire FC to their first ever domestic league victory in 1974. In his spare time, Fergie dresses up in a skirt and sings for the The Proclaimers. He is also described as the "biggest prick on Earth" by everyone associated with Manchester United F.C.

Playing Career

Alex Ferguson intellectual superiority he was a dumass in other words!!! apparent at an early age. Amazingly at the age of 1 years old he said his first swear word. He then went on to graduate at Oxford University with first class degrees in Swearing, Bullshitting and Chewing non-stop (still to this day holds the world record for chewing every last fragment of a brain in the shortest time possible). In After a failed career as a striker, he then moved to Falkirk and finished his playing career at Ayr United when he was attacked by a seagull at Somerset Park, permanently destroying his achillies and rendering him unfit to play the game ever again. In 1721, Henry VIII recognized Alex Fergusons abilities in getting rid of David Beckham and awarded a knighthood.