“Poser.”*

~ Wolverine on Freddy Kruger

“Agreed.”

~ Edward Scissorhands on the above comment

“Since the day I asked him to scratch my back... I regret it.”

~ Ronald Reagan on Freddy Krueger

“Freddy’s a god damn sexual tyrannosaurs!… Just like me!”

~ Jesse Ventura on Freddy Krueger

“He looks almost as messed up as I do!”

~ Deadpool on Freddy Krueger

Creator of Microsoft Charity Foundation, Freddy Krueger is a world renowned philantropist, a Wikipedian, younger brother to Robby Krieger of the Doors, and older brother to Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. He has raised money for virtually every single misfortunate child he had ever found on the street. He has given money to hobos who have allegedly bought beer and drugs with it. Krueger laughs at this notion, thinking its all lie because he's so nice...sure it is...right...

Early Life

Fredrick Douglas MacArthur "T-Bone" Krueger was born into a loving family on Elm Street. The exceptional thing was that he had one hundred fathers, a lot more than common people. Well, actually they were stepfathers, but that's another story. This of course made his mom, Amanda Krueger, formerly a nun, the biggest whore to ever walk the earth since the heydays of the Whore of Babylon. For this he was often taunted by other children in school, saying "Son of a hundred maniacs, son of a hundred maniacs" and "Your mom is a filthy whore llll in love, your mom is a filthy whore in love". Poor kid. His mother couldn't stand the pressure of being the only woman in the vast family, so she took her life through strangulation. Freddy's first words were "One...Two....Freddy's coming for you...". His family thought it was cute. When he was in his teens, his entire body was burned when his car exploded in an elaborate hit and run involving OJ Simpson, a rubber chicken, and many metals. The metals were melded onto his hand, and his body covered in nineteenth degree burns. After spending 10 years in a coma, he awoke.

Posers*: A person who habitually pretends to be something he is not.